Your day is trucking along as normal and for a moment there, you’d almost forgotten you even had your period (save the cramps and perpetual urge to return to bed). And then something tickles your sinuses, and in a matter of mere moments, you’re thrust into a state of panic. You sneezed (not like you could help it), and now you need to assess the damage and handle the aftermath — whatever that may be.
Maybe you’re a seasoned professional and wore an extra absorbent pad today in anticipation of your allergies, or perhaps you’ll spend the next four minutes texting your colleagues for supplies in a flurry. Either way, the next few, critical moments will pass in slow-motion and you’ll curse that microscopic pollen particle for getting you into this mess.
Accidentally removing your last tampon
It’s normal to go on autopilot when visiting the restroom. And why wouldn’t you? You’ve done this many times before and going about your business hardly requires your undivided attention. However, zoning out on the loo can result in the critical failure of removing your last tampon when you’ve forgotten to bring a replacement into the bathroom with you.
You’ll go through the seven stages of grief the moment you realise what you’ve done before weighing up your options and grading them on the likelihood of their success. Will you stuff your underwear with toilet paper and make a break for your handbag? Or will you gamble your livelihood on the chances of a tampon-bearing ally entering the bathroom within the next few minutes?
The “thanks but no thanks” bathroom exchange
Assuming you’re familiar with the scenario above, then you may have accepted the kind offer for a tampon or pad from a friend in the bathroom after realising you desperately needed one. Of course, you’re thankful for the gesture worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize, but when they whip out a tampon so small you need a microscope, or a pad that may as well be a panty liner, you’re met with that “you shouldn’t have” feeling.
That last-day-of-your-period liner will do nothing for your day-two flow, and while you’re eternally grateful for the offer, you may be better off making a mad dash for your handbag with toilet paper as your first line of defence, rather than wasting your new best friend’s sanitary item on 10 minutes of use.
Realising you should add “dry-cleaner” to your resume
Bloodstains are notoriously difficult to remove — at least that’s what you’ve heard anyway. For you, a stubborn period stain is no cause for concern and is easily whisked away from clothing with the application of a few nifty tricks you’ve picked up along the way.
Baking soda, salt, and oxygenated bleaches live inside your laundry cupboard, and you’ll never run a washing cycle with anything but cold water. Along the way, you may have been forced to retire a few beloved garments after a particularly heavy period, but now you’re unfazed by such stains. Let them try. You’ll be ready.
The morning gush
Following a sleepless night of at least one midnight pad change, you wake up to start your day and feel the full effects of gravity as you stand for the first time. It’s not necessarily an unpleasant feeling to have half your uterus fall out in a number of seconds (it feels like that anyway).
Being at home, at least you know you’re in a safe zone and are absolutely getting the most out of your overnight pad before showering and getting ready for the day.
We can laugh and we can bond over these moments because they unite us as women, but when heavy bleeding is no laughing matter, it is helpful to know that there are treatment options available.
While bleeding is, of course, normal, heavy bleeding, particularly when it affects your quality of life, can be a sign of a greater health issue. If you’re at all concerned about your bleeding, or feel it’s negatively affecting you, then consult your trusted GP and visit Wear White Again to learn more about the range of treatment options available.